Wrestling Night Before Christmas

‘Twas the night before Christmas while down in the ring
Not a wrestler was stirring not even the Sting

The crowds had all emptied the grounds and the stadium
From Maddison Square Garden to the London Palladium

The fans were all happy and snug in their beds
While visions of title fights danced in their heads

They’d spent all that day on an eBay search
Looking to find all kinds of Wrestling merch

Then out on the lawn there arose such a clatter
I sprung to the window to see what was the matter

There what on earth do you think there could be
A man in a striped shirt must be a referee.

With Rollins in action and Kane in his mask
Keeping McMahon happy was no easy task.

And long before Strowman screams “Rooaarrrr” or “I’m not finished with you”
Hayman didn’t care about Xmas because he is a Jew.

And Bobby Roode was there and he was “Glorious “
He won’t give in no he won’t give in until he’s Victorious

And Booker T says can you dig it
But Hulk can’t wrestle cause he’s a bigot


Now the Bella twins lay there stunned on the ground
Lana looked up to see if Nikki was around

But back before the WWE was a family indescribable
A family bent on destruction the original Unprescribables

There was Luke Lexapro and Bipolar Boy at the helm
Fighting there with Lithium Lad they were never overwhelmed

Last but not least and wrestling for the gals
Was Zoe Zoloft and Seroquel Sal

And their finishing moves some simple and some complex
From the Prozac Punch to the Seroquel Suplex

Then all of a sudden I awoke as if from a dream
I came to myself how real it all seemed.

No they hadn’t been fighting not down in the ring
It had only been a hallucinatory thing

And now I think you know that Xmas is the reason
For WWE, Raw and the Smackdown Season

And though it’s not real it’s really heart felt
Cause wrestling’s a sport where men without pants Fight for a belt